Liker dere meg bedre nå?

Forrige uke leste jeg innlegget til Marita som er slankeoperert og opplever at hun blir bedre behandlet nå som hun er slank enn når hun var overvektig. Hun opplever at det hele har gitt henne dårligere selvtillit, og det er jo selvsagt synd at en positiv endring skal lede til noe negativt. Det er en komplisert situasjon, og fedme er dessverre tabu å snakke om, og jeg kan heller ikke sette meg inn i Marita’s situasjon, men jeg tror selv at en stor grunn til denne opplevelsen er at hun har hatt en drastisk forandring over en veldig kort tid, og da henger kanskje ikke hodet helt med.

Jeg husker selv når jeg var yngre, ja rundt 15-16 år, hvor jeg gikk ned ganske mye. Vektnedgangen var nok ikke gjort på den sunneste måten, og jeg var ganske usikker på meg selv på den tiden, spesielt med tanke på utseende. Forandringen ble stor. Jeg gikk fra å være litt smålubben og nøytral til slank og faktisk ganske mye penere på veldig kort tid. Som Marita så sminket jeg meg også mer, og brukte penere klær, så selv om det kun var 10 kilo jeg gikk ned så fikk jeg plutselig veldig mye oppmerksomhet, oppmerksomhet som jeg i starten ikke helt forsto, og som jeg etterhvert syns var vanskelig å håndtere. Min endring var også veldig rask, og hodet hang ikke med i det hele tatt. Jeg trodde først ikke på at denne nye oppmerksomheten var reell, men forsto sakte men sikkert at ting nå var annerledes. Jeg hadde derimot ikke en helt lik opplevelse som Marita, og bærte ikke nag for at jeg ble behandlet annerledes før, men jeg var fryktelig usikker på meg selv, og dette  endret seg ikke når jeg gikk ned i vekt, jeg ble heller enda mer usikker! Selvtilliten steg, men selvtillit og selvfølelse er ikke det samme. Usikkerheten har forsvunnet med alderen, og glad er jeg for det, og jeg tror at dette i bunn og grunn handler om helt andre ting enn hvordan du ser ut. Jeg tror det handler om selvfølelse.

I dag kan jeg oppleve at folk behandler meg forskjellig ut ifra hva jeg har på meg eller om jeg har sminket meg eller ikke, men jeg bryr meg faktisk ikke et dugg. Altså, jeg ville ikke følt meg helt komfortabel i joggebukse og uten sminke i et viktig møte, men hvem ville vel det :p Om jeg skal ut å trene, gå tur med Akka eller gå til butikken så bryr jeg meg derimot ikke i det hele tatt. Jeg kan ikke si det samme om 10 år yngre Ingrid, men jeg kan også med hånden på hjertet si at jeg har langt sterkere selvfølelse nå enn for 10 år siden. Om folk velger å behandle meg annerledes i forhold til hvordan jeg ser ut er faktisk deres problem, og ikke mitt. Det er selvsagt synd at det skal være sånn, vi er noen ganger tøffe mot hverandre, kanskje helt uten at vi tenker på det, men det er da vi må prioritere hva som er viktig for oss. Er det viktig å please andre, eller holder det med å please en selv? Vi er som regel vår største kritiker, og noen ganger må man senke kravene sine litt og bli flinkere til å gi litt f**n! Utstråling kommer innenifra, og jeg er sikker på at man kommer lenger her i verden med et stort sminkeløst smil enn et surt sminket et, og det er sikkert mange av dere enige i :)

lavkarbo blogglangrennsblogg
Med sminke/uten sminke. Føler meg like fin jeg, men vet samtidig at ikke alle syns det. Do I care? Not any more!!

Jeg har som sagt ikke alltid følt det slik, og jeg har hatt mange år med dårlig selvfølelse. Ikke har jeg fasitsvaret på å få god selvfølelse heller, men det hjelper å bli kompis med deg selv og like deg selv for hvem du er, ikke for hva andre tror du er. Heldigvis er dette noe man kan trene på, og selv om mange opplever at selvfølelsen øker med alderen, så er det nok ganske mange som føler at dette ikke skjer. Jeg er ingen ekspert, men om du sliter med dette, og da spesielt utseende, så kan du starte med de små situasjonene; kanskje du syns at det er svært uheldig å møte naboen når du går ut med søpla i slitte joggebukser uten sminke? Neste gang du havner i en slik situasjon så smil bredt og si hei, og ikke gjem deg bort – fake it till you make it ;) Man skal ikke se bort ifra at andre er hyggeligere mot deg når du har pønta deg opp nettopp fordi selvfølelsen er høyere og du har en mer positiv utstråling! For det kan jo hende at årsaken til at folk behandler deg forskjellig nettopp fordi du oppfører deg forskjellig? Også finnes det jo en gjeng idioter i verden da, men de må man bare lære seg å dr**e i!

Har du opplevd noe lignende? Syns du slike situasjoner fortsatt er vanskelig, eller er det helt uproblematisk? SYns du vi er litt vel tøffe mot hverandre noen ganger?


57 comments to Liker dere meg bedre nå?

  • Jeg blir helt klart behandlet annerledes. Folk spør om de skal hjelpe meg når jeg kommer fra jobb i skjørt og på høye hæler. Kommer jeg svett fra trening er det ingen som ser to ganger i min retning for å bistå selv om jeg smiler like bredt. ;)

    Men mye er i holdningen, helt klart!

  • Cathrine

    Hei!
    Ville bare si at du har en flott blogg:) har fulgt dg i et halvt år nå- har fått mye inspirasjon fra dg. Stå på flinke du! Ønsker dg en fantastisk uke! Hilsen Cathrine, Trondheim

  • Sivi

    Veldig bra innlegg, i et land hvor vi er så sykt heldige er det rart hvor vanskelig vi gjør hverdagen med skyhøye krav til oss selv. Trist.
    Jeg stemmer for en nasjonal kampanje som sier: Bra nok som jeg er!!!

    Befriende å lese slike blogginnlegg og oppdage at ikke alle har tunnelsyn i sammenlikningsmentaliteten som preger oss.

    Heie på seg selv, det er bra det : )

  • Kjempebra skrevet! Jeg tror det ligger noe i det siste du sier, at man kanskje blir behandlet annerledes fordi man har en annen utstråling når man føler seg bra!
    Jeg har gått fra å virkelig hate alt ved meg selv, til å akseptere meg selv for den jeg er. Jeg er bra nok som jeg er!

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